Friday, January 24, 2025

Do You Like Spending Time Alone?

Full this sentence: Spending time alone makes me really feel ________.

Actually, full it as many occasions as you want. You might have quite a lot of emotions about being alone, maybe as a result of typically you search out solitude to loosen up and reset, whereas different occasions, nobody else is offered so it’s not as a lot of a selection.

Normally, do you want spending time alone? Or would you moderately keep away from it?

Within the Opinion essay “Embracing the Joys of Solitude within the New 12 months,” Jessica Grose writes about why she worries society has turn into “too fixated on the thought of loneliness as one thing insupportable and infrequently adverse.” She begins:

One among my most cherished recollections from elementary faculty is visiting the Hermit’s Grave, a neighborhood historic landmark in our small city in New York State. My fourth-grade class trooped by way of the woods and used wax paper to rub the recluse Johann Wilhelm Stolting’s tombstone. Stolting — also called the Hermit of Irvington or the Hermit of Ardsley — was an eccentric Nineteenth-century German immigrant who slept in a coffin, spoke seven languages and supported himself by promoting selfmade buttons.

He lived till he was practically 80, and though a New York Occasions article from 1885 makes him sound like an absolute crank, he was additionally admired by the native villagers. “The folks say that Stolting is a shrewd outdated fellow in managing his peculiar affairs in his peculiar means. He hates town, and glories within the independence of his lonesome existence within the nation.”

The Hermit has stayed with me as a result of I discovered him aspirational — I do know this was in all probability bizarre for a fourth grader, however stick with me. He was residing his greatest, solitary life in his little wooded hut together with his little coffin mattress.

I nonetheless take into consideration him as soon as a month or so, as a result of a small a part of me craves my very own trendy model of that excessive solitude. I in all probability couldn’t be as bodily remoted, nor would I need it to be — I hate nature, so residing within the woods could be robust. However what I’m trying to find is time alone, in my very own head and in inside house, faraway from different folks’s ideas and needs. And I fear that we’ve turn into a tradition that’s too fixated on the thought of loneliness as one thing insupportable and infrequently adverse.

In a prescient 2009 essay in The Chronicle of Greater Schooling, William Deresiewicz described the best way through which the instant and far-flung social connectivity that the web enabled created a era that “misplaced the flexibility to be alone, their capability for solitude” — and he believed that “The extra we preserve aloneness at bay, the much less can we take care of it and the extra terrifying it will get.”

Simply as I’ve questioned the hyper-focus and monitoring of happiness, I ponder if a few of us could be higher off embracing loneliness as a traditional feeling that all of us expertise sometimes, moderately than essentially being pathological.

College students, learn your entire essay after which inform us:

  • What’s your response to what you simply learn? Are you able to relate to Ms. Grose’s need to be “faraway from different folks’s ideas and needs”? Do you ever search “house away from each the digital and concrete noise” of your life?

  • How a lot of a mean day or week do you spend alone? How vital is that this time to you? What do you do whenever you’re by yourself? Do you may have too little time alone, an excessive amount of or simply sufficient?

  • The essay quotes William Deresiewicz, who wrote that the web created a era that “misplaced the flexibility to be alone, their capability for solitude.” Do you may have a tough time being alone? When you’re, do you typically decide up your telephone for one thing to do or some strategy to join?

  • Do you assume that social media connects us or disconnects us? Are you able to consider a time when expertise made you are feeling a way of neighborhood? Has expertise ever made you are feeling lonely?

  • Ms. Grose writes, “I fear that we’ve turn into a tradition that’s too fixated on the thought of loneliness as one thing insupportable and infrequently adverse.” What do you assume? Have we turn into too afraid of being alone? When do you assume spending time on one’s personal is useful, and when does it turn into an issue?


College students 13 and older in the US and Britain, and 16 and older elsewhere, are invited to remark. All feedback are moderated by the Studying Community workers, however please take into account that as soon as your remark is accepted, it is going to be made public and should seem in print.

Discover extra Scholar Opinion questions right here. Lecturers, try this information to study how one can incorporate these prompts into your classroom.

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