IT’S as if the Star of Bethlehem shines especially bright on family rifts, feuds and upsets in the run-up to Christmas.
There’s no split or division, but as every mother will tell you, all we want for Mother’s Day, our birthdays and Christmases is good behaviour.
I’m 58 and I’m still waiting . . .
So I have a great deal of empathy for the Beckhams, who have apparently been enduring a growing distance between them and their oldest son Brooklyn and his wife, Nicola Peltz.
As a mum myself, I do dread the day a malevolent boyfriend or girlfriend darkens my doorstep to take one of my children with them and isolate them from me.
Sounds dramatic but it does happen. Adult children fall in love and their new partner becomes their entire life.
So far, however, I’ve been flaming lucky. My oldest son has had a fantastic girlfriend for the past nine years and I love her like my own.
My oldest daughter is also in a relationship with a most lovely young man who has, to my great joy, made her a better person.
But who knows who and what’s loitering around the corner?
I guess in the Beckhams’ case, what I find most objectionable — just as much as I do with the Ramsays versus the Peatys — is that we somehow, inevitably, pit two women against each other.
It’s Victoria against daughter-in-law Nicola. And it’s daughter Holly Ramsay against her mother-in-law Caroline.
I think this is steeped in old adages about women being hard work, being divas and loving the dramatics, being emotional and being offended.
What’s actually happening is that we are ignoring the elephant in the room.
Has anyone considered that it’s the men, the sons, we should be focusing on?
Surely both Adam Peaty and Brooklyn Beckham have minds of their own?
Surely, they are men enough to stand up for their families and not be “ruled” over by their girlfriend or wife?
Wicked witch
But the narrative is always that women “bewitch” men. They put them under some kind of controlling spell which disables their capacity to reason or show their moral fibre or remember where they came from.
We love casting the wicked witch in family situations and it is always a woman. She’s a nightmare, she’s demanding, she has taken him away from his family.
This may very well be true. It could be that some women love control.
Then surely the flaw lies in the weakness of the man who won’t stand up to her.
Why is it her fault?
Whatever is going on with the Beckhams, I have every empathy with David and Victoria because as a parent you dedicate your life to your child and then you have to watch them grow up and make their own choices.
Sometimes those choices won’t include you and it makes you feel like all the sacrifices and dedication you showed meant nothing.
Despite having held our children tightly as babies — not daring or wanting to let them go — I firmly believe the kindest and most sensible thing to do is to let go.
I don’t mean in an “abandoning” way.
Just accept that you have no control over the situation.
While it is the hardest thing for a parent to do with a living child, I believe at some point they will find their way back to you.
It just might not be by tomorrow.
IT’S ONE FOR THE BOYS
For many, this is a step too far, they’re too young, I hear people cry.
As a mum of two boys, I would argue we should start even sooner.
In Sweden, we’re taught about the birds and the bees at kindergarten, so why on Earth would it not be possible to incorporate the essence of misogynistic behaviour into those conversations?
Why not plant the seed as part of their daily life already then?
Especially, as scientists will tell you, because the most important time of a child’s development is between zero and five years.
That’s when the brain is developing faster than at any other time, building neural connections and other stuff I just don’t understand.
For far too long now, the conversations have always been about how women need to protect themselves physically, sexually and psychologically from men who treat them as “less than”.
It’s been far more frustrating for me to have to warn my daughters how they need to guard themselves against men than it ever has been to tell my sons how to treat a woman with respect and humility.
Starstruck by meeting Rea-l gent Chris
I WAS heartbroken to learn of the death of Chris Rea.
This musical genius was meant to be in my life, by hook or by crook. It was fate.
His album Water Sign was the first CD I ever bought. And his music and his raspy voice had me mesmerised.
Some years later, I found fame presenting the weather at TV-am and Chris Rea was once a showbiz guest. I was so starstruck I went to hide in a cupboard, only for a colleague to come and get me and introduce me.
I asked him to sign my CD cover. He didn’t believe I was Swedish so signed it: “To Ulrika, who IS Swedish . . . ”
He was the most self-effacing person I’ve ever met. We ended up living in the same village for years. I didn’t know he lived there when I moved. Promise.
Then I met him on holiday with his lovely wife, Joan – not once, but twice.
Timely that he won’t be driving home for Christmas this year but his music and our encounters will live on in my heart for ever.
A PAIN RELIEF
Arthritis of any kind is no laughing matter, but when I have mentioned it, many seem to think it’s not particularly serious.
Well, it is. It’s extremely debilitating and I often have to organise my life around painful days – not sitting in the car for long periods, not sitting at my desk for hours, etc.
And while painkillers ease a small percentage of the pain, it’s not a silver bullet.
It’s a condition that affects 10million people in the UK and with pain relief options pretty limited, I’m sure I speak for the whole arthritis community when I say I hope we can have access to this remedy quicker than I can currently get up from the sofa.
KATIE’S GOT ME SCARED
AT the risk of prodding the giant bear that is the Katie Price fan club, I do think we need to talk about her.
In recent pictures of Katie out with friends, she looked shockingly underweight.
And, no, this is not one woman attacking another woman’s size or weight.
This is deeply concerning.
I remember Katie (before she was Jordan) when she came up to visit her boyfriend on our Gladiators set in the 90s. She was the prettiest thing you could ever imagine.
Then came the breast enlargements – more than anyone can count – and now her face looks like some kind of AI-generated pixie.
I’ve had a lot of respect for Katie over the years. She’s cared for disabled son Harvey in an incredibly dedicated way and her children have probably been her raison d’etre.
I truly want the best for her and hope that she has a good support system around her because I get the feeling she’s close to pressing the self-destruct button.
AND men wonder why women don’t come forward to report rape, abuse or grooming.
Just one look at the Epstein files – which have more black lines through them than a herd of zebras – and you have to ask yourselves why people need a dead man’s files to believe a thousand living women.
Guess it’s all we need to know about the value of women’s voices.