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YouTuber Jesse Ridgway and his wife, Ashley, made a difficult decision.
At first, they were overjoyed to share their pregnancy news.
However, genetic testing revealed that their potential child would have been born with Down syndrome.
The Ridgways opted to terminate the pregnancy. Now they’re getting death threats.
The Ridgways chose to end the pregnancy
When the Ridgways — who constantly film themselves through the ups and downs of their lives, making themselves successful YouTubers — first learned that their potential child might have Down syndrome, they thought that it was a fluke.
The genetic testing company that they’d used had returned false positives to some patients, losing a lawsuit over the matter. They’d hoped that they were among them. They were not.
“This week, my wife and I made the very difficult decision to terminate the pregnancy due to Trisomy 21,” Ridgway shared on his Instagram Story.
Trisomy 21 is the most formal name for the genetic abnormality. As the name suggests, the twenty-first chromosome exists in triplicate rather than as a duo. This causes a cascade of differences.
Generally speaking, people with Down syndrome have subtly different facial features, low muscle tone, and may experience developmental delays in certain academic areas. Some children with Down syndrome must undergo open-heart surgery as newborn infants, or do not live long enough to go home.
“The choice was not made lightly,” Ridgway expressed. “We are devastated.”
He admitted: “This has been extremely traumatic for both of us, especially Ashley.”
Ridgway detailed that his wife had undergone the “procedure earlier this week” and detailed that “everything went smoothly.”
He added: “But emotionally, we are drained.”
The decision to end a pregnancy is easy for some, difficult for others. Jesse and Ashley had been deeply excited, but knew that this wasn’t the right fit for them.
The death threats came pouring in
Jesse and Ashley made this decision based upon advice from doctors, friends, and family.
They also knew that they were unprepared to care for a child with special needs.
As Jesse noted as he posted about it, some children with Down syndrome grow up to live independently. Many remain dependent upon their parents for life.
And, again, those are those who survive to adulthood. That is not universal.
The Ridgways were bombarded with hate and death threats, from people who accused them of “murder” for having an abortion and also from people who accused them of ableism. Jesse took to his Stories to clap back.
At the risk of getting way too personal, even if you do have an immediate family member with Down syndrome, you don’t know what this specific couple was going through.
Setting aside the usual crowd who opposes abortion and believes it to be murder, this is not eugenics in action.
This is a couple who said we are not prepared to be parents to a disabled child. That is honest of them, and much better for everyone — especially a future child — than going in headfirst and too late realizing that it’s too much.
It’s true that any child could become disabled. But anyone who actually cares about children should want them to have the best parents that they can.
Don’t send the Ridgways death threats or condemnations. It’s unproductive but undeserved.
We’ll never fully understand why they decided to film this (or so many other aspects of their lives), but that’s their business.